I Like Vomiting

A businessman at the Standard had been throwing up since the wee hours. I assured him I’d arrive within the hour. It was nine a.m., so the usual half-hour drive downtown might last longer.

Before leaving, from my medication closet I extracted a syringe, a packet of antinausea pills, and an antivomiting suppository and dropped them into my pocket. This enabled me to avoid restocking my bag after returning home. Sometimes I forget.

The drive was tolerable. The guest was miserable, but he hadn’t vomited in two hours, so I suspected he was over the worst. I left feeling good. I like vomiting.

People chuckle to hear this, but in an otherwise healthy person, most episodes don’t last long, rarely more than a day. My medicines help symptoms but don’t speed recovery. When guests feel better, often by the time the medicine wears off, they believe I've cured them. He felt better by evening.