Phrases Patients Love to Hear, Part 1

After years of practice, doctors learn to read patients’ minds. I’m proud of my skill, but some doctors do better than others. Here are phrases you love to hear; you should hear them more often.

1.  “You did the right thing.”

Sometimes doctors are so reassuring that patients leave the office unhappy - not at the doctor but themselves.  “I wasn’t sick enough come in,” they think.  “I wasted his time.  I must be a hypochondriac!”  Most often this happens with minor ailments or respiratory infections when we provide reassurance but no prescription. To prevent this, at the end of a visit I might say something like “You did the right thing to come in. Some patients with this symptom have.... but you just have... “

2.  “This isn’t a serious problem, and it never turns into a serious problem.” 
Doctors know that many tiresome problems such as hemorrhoids, bladder infections, migraine, or herpes are not ominous. They never turn into something worse, but many patients don’t know this. A doctor must tell them.

3.  “I want you to call me any time.”

Most patients assume doctors are constantly pestered by neurotics. In fact, almost everyone who calls me has a good reason. Anxious not to disturb the doctor, many sufferers struggle through the night, but that’s a bad idea.  The best time to call is when the urge first appears. To be honest, I don't think you'll ever hear this. 

The Easiest Part of Medical Care

The phone rang at midnight for a housecall in Long Beach, 35 miles away. So far, so good. Freeways were clear, and the caller was a reliable travel insurer who agreed to my fee. Good.

The patient was young and suffering a fever. That sounded easy. The patient was a student at California State University, Long Beach. Uh oh.

Navigating a college campus is a nightmare. The address of a university is the administration building where no one lives. College buildings have names or numbers, but they follow their own logic.

The patients are foreign, unfamiliar with the geography, and unhelpful. Finally, campus police may be slow responding to rape and burglary, but they pounce fiercely on an illegally parked car. You don’t want to park inside a college campus without a permit.

Taking no chances, I parked on Bellflower Boulevard outside the entrance and walked far across the campus to the dormitories and International House where I assumed he was staying. As I approached, I saw that the barrier to the lot next to the building was raised, and I could have parked. C’est la vie. As usual, delivering medical care was the easiest part.