At one point years ago, I had to discard half a
dozen bottles of antibiotic eye drops when they reached their expiration date.
I carry thirty-two drugs. I don’t like to send
guests searching for a pharmacy in a strange city, so I hand out whatever they
need whether it’s a week of antibiotics or a tube of cream. I’m also generous
with cough medicines, decongestants, expectorants, laxatives, and other
over-the-counter remedies. I know that many patients including you don’t expect
medicine whenever you see a doctor, but we in the profession get that
impression.
When I restock, my order must be large to avoid a
big handling fee. This becomes awkward when I run low on a critical drug such
as prescription eye drops. I can’t allow myself to run out, and I can’t order
other essentials such as antibiotics or injectables until I need them because
of the expiration date.
This is where useless drugs come in handy (I’m
stretching a point; it’s not certain that cough remedies, decongestants,
expectorants et al don’t work, but researchers who conduct studies have trouble
showing that they’re superior to placebos).
As I run low on important drugs, I become more
generous with these. This is easy because respiratory infections are every
family doctor’s most common ailment. For weeks, I loaded up guests with sniffles,
colds, “sinus,” “bronchitis,” flu, and similar bugs with every elixir, gargle,
capsule, or lozenge in my possession. Soon I ran low on enough medication to
eliminate the handling fee when I restocked.
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