The Perks of Age

Getting old is a nuisance although there are benefits. Police in passing patrol cars no longer eye me suspiciously late at night. Lone women in elevators have stopped looking uneasy when I join them. 

As a college student in 1965, I wrote a play that won a national award. It was never produced, but in 2006 a theater group in New York chose it for a staged reading. This was not a big deal, but I wanted to attend.

As soon as I entered the small theater, everyone perked up. I became the center of attention; people introduced themselves; they sat me in the place of honor. For reasons I still puzzle over, the group boasted that its public readings were cold (i.e. unrehearsed). The performance made this only too clear.

Later I realized why everyone treated me so well. No one in that theater appeared older than forty. Since I was past middle-age they assumed I was an agent or producer – an important person. They did not forget their manners on learning I was merely the writer.

A Hotel Doctor at the Movies

My phone buzzed. 

I sit on the aisle in theaters, so I can hurry out before speaking.

“Can you see a guest at the Sheraton?”

“Which Sheraton?”

The insurance dispatcher gave an address that I didn’t recognize. It turned out to be in San Francisco, so I was back in the theater in less than a minute. This doesn’t happen often. Mostly, when a call arrives, I leave.

When hotel guests phone directly, the conversation always takes a few minutes. Even if a housecall isn’t necessary, I’ve missed too much of the movie.

When insurance agencies phone, a housecall is almost always necessary, and it takes a few minutes to copy the information. 

What to do then…. Most patients are willing to wait a few hours until the movie ends, but I never ask them. While I don’t deny that I’m a deeply caring person, I’m also a Type-A personality. If there’s work to be done, I can’t relax until it’s done, so I always leave. This does not sit well with my wife, so we usually go to the movies in two cars.

Cashiers give me a refund if I explain that I’m a doctor on-call, but once the movie is under way, I don’t ask. My fee for a visit is much higher than a movie admission. Most of the time I’m happy to get away. I doubt if I return to a quarter of the movies after I’m called away.