When Guests Drop Hints -Part 2

        Guest:  “I try not to.”

        This means “Yes” in answer to questions like:  “Do you cheat on your diet, stick Q-tips in your ears, consume too much food, alcohol, tranquilizers, salt,  or laxatives?.”

        Guest:  “I try.”

        This means “No” when I ask if someone has obeyed instructions that are almost impossible to obey (take a pill every four hours, stick to an exercise program, ignore a crying baby)...

        Guest:  “Everyone tells me what a great doctor you are….”

        My heart sinks when I hear this because it precedes a request that I’m not likely to fulfill.

When Guests Drop Hints - Part 1

Here are some phrases that I have to interpret.

Guest:  “You’re the doctor.”

This means “You’re wrong.”  Other hints that I’m off base include:

“I wonder if I need something stronger…”

“My regular doctor always gives me...”

“My husband had the same thing, and the doctor said it was...”

Guest:  “If I don’t get something it turns into (...bronchitis, strep, walking pneumonia, a sinus infection...).”

This guest is saying:  “I want an antibiotic.”

Patients often work hard to convince me that their cough, congestion, or sore throat has a special feature that requires an antibiotic.  They tell me that -

“I have an important meeting, and I can’t afford to be sick.”

“I have a tendency to strep.”

“It’s not a cold.  It’s bronchitis!”

“If I don’t catch it quick, it goes to my chest.”

Plus the old favorite:  “My regular doctor always gives me...”

Guest:  “Are you sure I need this?”

This means the guest won’t fill my prescription.

Similar hints include:

“I don’t take medicine unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

“My mother is allergic to this.”

“I have a sensitive stomach.”