Running Out of Medication

A guest at the Doubletree had run out of insulin. I could have made a housecall, written a prescription, and a pharmacist would have filled it. Instead I explained that insulin doesn’t require a prescription. She should go to the pharmacy and ask for it. The same is true for the morning-after pill, another request that arrives now and then.

An Italian guest at the Four Seasons brought a migraine prescription from her doctor. Pharmacies wouldn’t accept it. Could I come and write an American prescription? I told her to have the pharmacist phone, and I would approve it.

When national housecall services or competitors send me to guests who need a prescription, I write it, collect money, and leave. Those are easy visits, but guests are never grateful. Americans look sullen; foreigners understand that American doctors require immense fees for any service. When guests call me directly, I handle these requests over the phone, gratis. It’s no great sacrifice and good public relations.

It may even be good business. Long ago, when I returned from a day off, the doctor who covered told me a guest at the Casa Del Mar had phoned. That was exciting news; this was an upscale Santa Monica beach hotel which had never called. The guest obviously had a bladder infection, so the doctor had phoned a prescription to a pharmacy. I nodded. Treating an infection over the phone is not a good idea, but simple bladder infections are an exception. He added that he had charged $30 for the service. I mention this only because it happened during the 1990s, and I haven’t heard from the Casa del Mar since.

Why Do I Get So Many?...

Everyone thinks he or she has a weak spot. “My kidneys are weak...” “I have a tendency to strep...” “My resistance is low...” In fact, most recurrent complaints are not your fault.

Colds (or other viral infections such as bronchitis, tonsillitis, flu) are contagious diseases. You catch them from another person. They are not caused by chilly weather, wetness, stress, poor nutrition, or a weak immune system.

Backaches happen because our skeleton is defective. Animals walked on four legs for hundreds of millions of years. Humans stood erect a few million years ago, too soon for evolution to correct matters, so back muscles are too weak for the extra work, and our spine is not built to carry so much weight.

Bladder infections plague young women. Many suspect something is wrong, but this is rarely the case. In young adults, these are caused by germs that normally live around the genitalia. Young men suffer much less often because having a penis gives germs much further to travel to reach the bladder. Men catch up after middle-age when their swelling prostate obstructs urine flow.       

Bruises.  Black-and-blue marks occur after an injury. Rarely, they are the sign of a bleeding disorder, but in young women bruises often appear for no reason at all.

 

Flatulence is usually a sign of good health. Humans digest protein and fat easily, so very little reaches the colon. Carbohydrates are another matter; a person who eats a great deal of grain, vegetables, and fruits delivers plenty of undigested carbohydrate to colonic bacteria that feed on it, producing gas.

Age spots become tiresome if you or your doctor don’t take them seriously. They begin around age forty as small brown spots. A quick freeze with liquid nitrogen makes them vanish with no scarring. If ignored, they never go away. They enlarge; some become thick and wart-like; others appear. Eventually there are too many to treat.

Allergies tend to appear in childhood. Most reactions that adults call allergies are something else. If a medicine makes you ill, that’s probably what doctor’s call “drug intolerance,” not an allergy. This is not splitting hairs. A drug allergy can kill you; drug intolerance is merely annoying. Most stuffy noses are not allergies. Neither are most rashes or upset stomachs.