Not Being a Bad Person

On a plane returning to Los Angeles, a flight attendant asked if a doctor were on board. Reluctantly, I raised my hand.

Walking up the aisle, I relieved my fears by recalling that hotel employees who tell me a guest is seriously ill are usually wrong. 

The passenger complained of a tight chest and difficulty breathing. He was forty with no medical problems, and his only medication was a tranquilizer which he didn’t have. He had no objection to my diagnosis of anxiety attack; he’d had them before. I reassured him and reassured the flight attendant that he’d be OK until the plane arrived. This turned out to be true.

Hearing the story, my wife said that she expected no less of me because I’m a caring, compassionate doctor. She often says things like that.

In fact, I raised my hand because I believe that a physician asked for help has a moral obligation to respond. If he doesn’t, he’s a bad person. Responding did not make me feel good, but not responding would feel worse.

Plenty of doctors keep quiet under those circumstances and comfort themselves with excellent reasons. It was unlikely that I could handle a genuine emergency. I haven’t performed CPR in decades; in any case doing so in that packed cabin was impossible. Standing by helplessly would make me look foolish. Doctors hate that. The passenger might sue. This has happened. You’ve probably heard of the “good Samaritan” law, but any competent lawyer can find a reason it doesn’t apply.

More Humor

"Can you go to Pasadena?” asked a dispatcher from Expressdoc, a housecall service. I could.

“Bloating and nausea,” was the reply when I asked for the patient’s symptoms. Once I arrived at the Pasadena Hilton, I learned that, besides bloating and nausea, the guest was suffering hot and cold flashes, difficulty breathing, dizziness, and blurred vision.

My diagnosis was an anxiety attack. She agreed that this was reasonable. She remembered similar episodes.

“I don’t have more stress than most people, but obviously I’m not handling it well. Why is this happening?”

“Because no one is perfect.”

She laughed, but I believe this. I explained that an anxiety attack is a tiresome body malfunction like a backache or allergy. You suffer, deal with it, and feel better, but it’s likely to recur. Almost everyone believes that stress causes anxiety. When it becomes chronic, victims undergo psychotherapy which sometimes works. I treat it as a simple malfunction; this also works pretty well.