“No one but my
wife had crab cakes in the hotel restaurant last night, and about 4 a.m……”
A miserable
problem for the guest’s wife but also a difficulty for me. The caller had no
doubt that his wife was suffering food poisoning although no one can make that
diagnosis unless more than one person gets sick. In developed countries, viral
infections cause most upset stomachs.
“She says the
crab tasted funny…” That was not helpful because common food-borne toxins are
tasteless.
I expressed
sympathy, quizzed the husband for details, assured him that these illnesses were usually short-lived, and gave suggestions
for relieving her symptoms. I would have made a housecall if asked, but on
calls like this I hope the caller doesn’t ask.
If he asks, I
mention the fee. My worry is that the guest, certain the restaurant poisoned
his wife, will insist that the hotel pay. News that I am not a hotel employee never
changes matters. Suggesting that the guest take this up with the manager never
helps. Sometimes management refuses responsibility, so I’m confronted with an
angry guest who suspects, despite my disclaimer, that I’m in cahoots with the
hotel. I hate accepting money from a resentful guest, so I don’t.
Sometimes the
manager tries to mollify the guest by agreeing to pay. A hotel
manager is an exalted figure. I rarely meet one, and I want the first encounter
to leave a good impression, so I wave off the money. They always appreciate it,
but don’t assume I earn their undying gratitude. I did this in July of 2015 to
the manager of the huge Doubletree in downtown Los Angeles. The hotel hasn’t called since.