Friday, March 18, 2016
Medicine is Easy, Parking is Hard, Part 2
Finding a hotel is easy, but some travelers live elsewhere.
I received a call to Marina Del Rey, an upscale beach community. Google maps revealed that the guest’s address was an apartment complex with many buildings, an ominous beginning.
As I suspected, street parking was forbidden. I drove onto the complex and followed directions toward visitor parking. That required the guest to open the gate to the parking garage, but, being a temporary resident, he didn’t know how.
Fortunately it was a business day, so the leasing office was open. Ignoring signs threatening terrible consequences for non-apartment seekers, I parked in the leasing zone. The salesperson was helpful, directing me to a distant building.
After a long walk, I found the address – 4131 Via Marina – over a door, but it was locked, and there was no call-box. I phoned the patient who had no idea where I was. I walked around the building. On the opposite side was a large entrance, but its address was 4135. Completing my circumnavigation found me back at 4131 and the locked door. I suspected that 4135 was the proper entrance, and that turned out to be true.
Labels:
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Monday, March 14, 2016
Too Many Cooks
An eight
year-old’s lower lid revealed a small bump. My diagnosis was a sty.
As I explained, the mother held out her cell phone.
“I e-mailed
our doctor two days ago,” she explained. I saw a photo of the child’s face and the
doctor’s message which diagnosed an eye infection and prescribed antibiotic
drops.
“The drops
aren’t working, so I might need something stronger,” she added. The photograph
was not too revealing. I offered to discuss matters with the doctor, but he
wasn’t available.
Most stys go
away without treatment although hot compresses are supposed to help. Drops
aren’t necessary.
I explained
this, being careful to add that the child had a real problem but one that
didn’t require medicine.
This often
doesn’t work, and it didn’t work this time. She looked uneasy. I knew she was
thinking, “The doctor’s not giving me anything. So he must think there’s
nothing wrong. But look at the eye…”
She perked up
when I told her she could continue using the drops. Everyone knows that when
you have an eye problem, you need eye drops.
Labels:
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stye
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Not Again!!
“I need a
doctor.”
“I’m a
doctor.”
“No. I need a
doctor.”
“This is
Doctor Oppenheim. You’re speaking to a doctor.”
“No! No! I
need a doctor!!”
Like most of
you, I hear what I expect to hear. It turned out the guest didn’t need a doctor
but an adaptor for American
electrical voltage. He had made the same request – in a foreign accent – to the
hotel operator who immediately connected him to me.
It’s the
fourth time in about 30,000 phone calls that I’ve had this dialogue.
Labels:
concierge doctor,
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Doctor,
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Los Angeles,
Oppenheim,
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Sunday, March 6, 2016
A Real-Life Stereotype
A diamond dealer from Israel, a guest at the L.A. Marriott, fell violently ill with a stomach virus. He went to an emergency room, remaining overnight for IVs and tests. Returning to the hotel, he felt better except for some diarrhea. I examined him and reassured him and handed over anti-diarrhea pills.
“Are you Jewish,” he asked.
“I’m a doctor,” I said.
He thought for a while and then asked “Would you give me a discount on the bill?”
I gave him a discount.
After another pause he asked “Would you keep the old fee on the invoice that I give to my insurance?”
I told him I’d already made the change.
“But the insurance charged too much: $90 just for a week in America!” he complained.
“Are you kidding?... You should kiss the feet of whoever sold you the insurance. Wait till you see the bill from the emergency room. It’ll be about $5,000.”
He didn’t believe me.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
The Reward of Virtue
I did
something admirable last week while reviewing my credit card statement.
I keep
receipts until the charge shows up on my monthly bill and then discard them. I
noticed that a $137 restaurant bill from October still hadn’t appeared. Had the
waiter mislaid it?.... What to do…. No
one would object if I kept waiting. But when I ordered the meal, I was
obligated to pay for it.
After some
agonizing, I e-mailed the restaurant to remind them. Then, since no one was
around to praise me, I praised myself.
As I turned
that honorable action over in my mind, a memory took shape. Didn’t the
restaurant mistakenly decline my credit card? And didn’t my wife pay with her
credit card for which I reimbursed her?
I examined the
receipt. Sure enough, it revealed the
last four numbers of her credit card, not mine. So I had paid the bill! I sent
another e-mail to the restaurant, cancelling the earlier one. Honesty had cost
me nothing. Who says virtue is its own reward?
Labels:
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Los Angeles,
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Saturday, February 27, 2016
Screwing the Guest
A February 13
Craigslist ad is recruiting hotel doctors.
If you read
this blog, you know that I keep track of new arrivals and offer to work for
them. They often take me up on it because it’s not easy to find a doctor on the
spur of the moment.
A few hours
after my response, the phone rang. The caller introduced himself, adding that
he knew me, admired me, and was certain that I was a perfect hire.
He operated a
concierge hotel doctor service in big cities, he explained. Clients
were busy businessmen who absolutely could not interrupt work to be
sick. His doctors made sure this happened through aggressive treatment and
powerful drugs, perhaps more powerful than a doctor would use in an office. He
asked what injectables I carried and suggested others. His doctors sutured
lacerations, drained boils, administered IV fluids and breathing treatments,
incised hemorrhoids – whatever a guest need to keep going.
The charge was
$3250.
“They pay
that?” I asked.
“Just about
everyone,” he responded. “Because there’s NO OUT-OF-POCKET EXPENSE!” (I write
in caps because his voice grew loud). “We deal mostly with foreign businessmen.
They have travel insurance that pays whatever we bill, so I promise they’ll
have NO OUT-OF-POCKET EXPENSE, and no one has complained.”
This was
probably true. Aware of the rapacious American medical system, foreign insurers
may be inured to spectacular bills.
When I asked
about American guests, he segued seamlessly into another monologue. American
insurers are less generous, but his service was vastly superior, effective,
convenient, and cheaper than the five or ten thousand dollars charged at an
emergency room. Hearing this, many paid and express gratitude afterward.
Unlike the
previous harangue, this was not true, but I encounter it on web sites and
publicity from competing hotel doctors. It puts me in a bad mood.
“So you’re not
screwing the guests, you’re screwing the insurance companies.”
“Why shouldn’t
I? They screw us!” he exclaimed, adding that many of his doctors are forced to
work for him to make ends meet because of piddling insurance reimbursement.
Surgeons who once made $1500 for repairing a hernia are now getting $1000.
This did not
improve my mood although I share his low opinion of American health insurers.
Foreign insurers give me little trouble, but I’m not billing them $3250.
“You’re
selling yourself short,” he exclaimed after learning what I charge. I responded
that I have no complaints about my income.
“You do
realize you’re running a business,” he added on hearing that I don’t charge for
phone calls. That’s probably true, but I’ve noticed that every doctor who announces
that medicine is a business is an asshole.
He is not the
first entrepreneur to discover that sick hotel guests, trapped in a strange
city, are an easy mark and that foreign insurers are even easier. You can read
about another on my September 3 post.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
A Perfect Housecall
On Sunday I wrote for a few hours
and then ate breakfast. My routine is to go to the gym afterward, but as I was
leaving the phone rang. A travel insurer asked me to see a guest in Anaheim, near Disneyland,
forty miles away.
That was good news; not only did I have a visit but I could skip the gym. I don’t mind long drives provided the freeways move smoothly which is the case on Sunday morning, and the insurer agreed to pay extra for the distance.
That was good news; not only did I have a visit but I could skip the gym. I don’t mind long drives provided the freeways move smoothly which is the case on Sunday morning, and the insurer agreed to pay extra for the distance.
Sure enough, the drive went
quickly. The patient was a five year-old with an itchy rash on his legs,
obviously atopic dermatitis. I informed the parents, explained how to care for
his skin, and handed over a tube of hydrocortisone cream from my bag. They were
pleased. I didn't hurry, but I doubt I spent ten minutes in the room. Sometimes
this is an easy job.
Labels:
concierge doctor,
concierge practice,
Doctor,
Heal,
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house call,
housecall,
Los Angeles,
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