The Hotel Doctor

For mysterious reasons, Google has stopped indexing this blog, so you few loyal readers are among only a dozen or two that can still find me...

  “This is Doctor Oppenheim,” I repeated several times before hanging up. Caller ID identified the Doubletree in Santa Monica, so I phoned t...

  “She speaks Spanish. I’m not sure what’s going on, but she needs a doctor.”  The caller was the night manager at the Torrance Marriott. ...

  “I have the European plague. I need a doctor.” “Excuse me?...” “I have the European plague. I need a doctor for the American plague.” ...

  A national housecall service connected me with a guest at the Montage in Beverly Hills. She was suffering the flu; I told her I’d arrive i...

A hotel guest phoned to ask when I’d arrive. “In about fifteen minutes.” On her initial call, I had told her I would arrive in an hour...

  A travel insurer reported a sick child at the Anaheim Holiday Inn, near Disneyland forty miles away. Freeway traffic was tolerable, but wh...

  I drove to Glendale to care for an elderly Argentine lady who had been vomiting. That can be a tricky problem in an old person, but she wa...

  “My son with pain in ear. Maybe he need a doctor.” “I can come to the hotel.” “Not today. I give medicine. Maybe if he has pain tomorr...

The caller spoke with a Hispanic accent, so I assumed he was a travel insurer, and I was right. It was StandbyMD, one of the good insurers...

  Opening an envelope from an international travel insurer, I expected a check but found only a form letter containing a dozen boxes, each l...

  Could I see a gentleman at the Omni with an upset stomach? The dispatcher for International Assistance was delighted to learn that I cou...

  A guest in Long Beach had broken out in red spots. This looked like a terrific visit; skin problems are easy. A sudden rash is frighteni...

A call arrived during breakfast. Half an hour later the phone rang again. I was pleased because it was an ideal time for multiple housecal...

  An elderly lady gestured me to come in. As I followed, she remained silent, a sign that she spoke no English. If someone doesn’t know “hel...

A guest at the Luxe explained that he was in town for six weeks and needed a disabled parking pass. I told him that was not something I ha...

  National FDAs in Europe and Asia approve new drugs after deciding that the benefits outweigh the risks. Aware that bad side-effects produc...

  It upsets me to collect a fee and then send a patient to a clinic or emergency room for care I can’t provide in a housecall. I try to anti...

  Almost every hotel guest that I see is working or taking an expensive vacation, so illness is more inconvenient than usual. Everyone agree...

I was minding my own business on a plane returning to Los Angeles when I heard the elderly man in the adjacent middle-seat say:   “Victori...