The Hotel Doctor

A businessman at the Hilton-Garden Inn asked a pharmacist to recommend a cream for his insect bites. To his alarm, the pharmacist info...

If a prescription gave you diarrhea or made you vomit, you might complain. But until well into the twentieth century, the average Amer...

 4. Doctors order too many tests and prescribe too many drugs. Correct. We love tests, but so you. Most patients with a painful inju...

In the old days, airlines called me directly to care for crew laying over in Los Angeles. I enjoyed those visits because patients ar...

No one came to the door after several knocks. I had spoken to the guest an hour before and announced my arrival time. Taking for g...

We’re guilty of them all, but there are extenuating circumstances. 1.   Doctors give treatments that relieve symptoms but don’t cu...

Cleaning his ear, a guest removed the Q-tip and discovered that the cotton tip had disappeared. Extracting objects from an ear is ...

Few actions bring a hotel doctor more pleasure than removing something from a guest’s eye. Patients have kissed my feet in gratitude. ...

“My wife had strep last week. Now I have the same thing.” I receive one “same thing” phone call per week. Naturally, guests hope I...

“Under your tongue… under your tongue… close your mouth… don’t bite!” Seeing a thermometer, the guest had unbuttoned his shirt and...

Midafternoon is a slow time, so I take a history class at UCLA, and I’m rarely disturbed. But my phone buzzed. “This is Internatio...

“I’ve been hacking up stuff for a couple days, and it’s turning green.” “It sounds like the virus that’s going around,” I said. “It’...

A businessman at the Standard had been throwing up since the wee hours. I assured him I’d arrive within the hour. It was nine a.m., so...

I’m running low on ondansetron, the best antinausea pill. Unfortunately, I’m not low on many other supplies. I buy through an intern...

“Can you make a visit to Palo Alto?” “That’s four hundred miles away!” “How much would you charge?” “I’m in Los Angeles. D...

Bending over, a guest at the Georgian felt stabbing pain in his back. He could barely move. Acute back pain usually doesn’t last l...

A child at the Disneyland Hotel had a fever. Disneyland is forty miles away, but the call arrived Sunday morning. Freeway traffic was ...

The patient was a Brazilian two-year old who may or may not have had ear pain. Infants love everyone, and older toddlers are usually fri...

Everyone thinks he or she has a weak spot. “My kidneys are weak...” “I have a tendency to strep...” “My resistance is low...” In fact,...

People blame an upset stomach on their last meal, but mostly these are viral infections. Although miserable, they rarely last long. Do...