Good Insurance

The caller spoke with a Hispanic accent, so I assumed he was a travel insurer, and I was right. It was StandbyMD, one of the good insurers. It phones; I make the visit; I fax an invoice; it sends a check. Latin Americans make up most of its clients, but anyone can sign up.

A guest at the Sheraton Four Points had been awake all night with an earache. The call arrived at 4:30 a.m., but that’s almost my time of rising, so I was not unhappy. Freeway traffic was light. I was at his room in half an hour.

One thing seemed strange. His name sounded American. This is not rare in Latin American countries, but he also spoke flawless English. He told me his pain began soon after he boarded a plane in Managua.

“So you live in Nicaragua?” I asked.

“No. Vancouver,” he said.

The light dawned.

“Of course,” I added. “You’re Canadian. No American would have such good insurance.”

American travelers buy American travel insurance. When they fall ill, they obtain care and then submit a claim to the insurer which pays as much as their fee schedule pays. Our insurers take a dim view of housecalls, so their reimbursement is not generous.  I can’t remember caring for an American hotel guest and then billing one of the dozen travel insurers that use me.   

 

Why I Am a Patriot

Hot summer days remind me of why I love America. We appreciate air conditioning. Citizens of most other nations consider it unhealthy. They tolerate it as an exotic American quirk, but as soon as someone in the party falls ill, the air conditioning goes off.

Wearing a suit and tie, I conduct my business in suffocatingly hot hotel rooms. When I extol the benefits of machine-cooled air to foreigners, they listen politely with an expression identical to that of Americans hearing me explain that antibiotics will not cure their bronchitis.